Building A Life Together

You’ve decided to spend forever together Congratulations!

Whether you're committing to each other after a long time of casual dating or you’ve just swept each other off your feet, committing to each other is a big step, but don’t worry you can learn how to become a better listener and how to turn to your partner!

The benefits of a happy and healthy relationship is the feeling that you have someone who really “gets” you!

“Foster Emotional Intimacy”

A good sexual relationship is built on emotional intimacy and closeness. In other words , if you’re hoping to improve your physical relationship, you need to first work on your emotional connection. Focus on meeting your partner’s needs and communicating your own needs in a loving , respectful way.

Practicing emotional attunement can help you stay connected even when you disagree. This means turning toward one another by showing empathy , instead of being defensive. Both partners need to talk about their feelings in terms of positive need instead of what they do not need.

Keep or Rekindle Sexual Chemistry

During the early phase of marriage many couples barely come up for air due to the excitement of falling in love. Unfortunately this blissful state doesn't last forever. Scientists have discovered that oxytocin( a bonding hormone) released during the initial stage of infatuation causes couples to feel euphoric and turned on by physical touch. It actually works like a drug giving us immediate rewards that bind us to our lover.

Holding hands, hugs and tender touch are great ways to affirm your love for your partner. Physical affection sets the stage for sexual touch that is focused on pleasure. Sex therapist and educator Dr. Micheal Stysma recommends that you set a goal of doubling the length of time you kiss, hug and use sexual touch if you want to improve your marriage.

Sexual Attraction is hard to maintain over time. For instance , a couple can lack passion because they are unwilling to give up control and show vulnerability. As a result , they avoid sex and rarely touch each other .Most sexual concerns stem from an interpersonal Struggle in the marriage.

Here are 10 Tips to bring back the passion in your marriage

1. Change your pattern of initiating sex Maybe you are denying your partner or coming on too strong. Avoid criticizing each other and stop the “blame game.” Mix things up to end the power struggle. For example, distancers may want to practice initiating sex more often and pursuers try to find ways to tell their partner “you’re sexy,” in subtle ways while avoiding critique and demands for closeness.
2. Hold hands more often According to author Dr. Kory Floyd, holding hands, hugging, and touching can release oxytocin causing a calming sensation. Studies show it’s also released during sexual orgasm. Additionally, physical affection reduces stress hormones – lowering daily levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
3. Allow tension to build Our brains experience more pleasure when the anticipation of the reward goes on for some time before we receive it. So take your time during foreplay, share fantasies, change locations, and make sex more romantic.
4. Separate sexual intimacy from routine Plan intimacy time and avoid talking about relationship problems and household chores in the bedroom. Sexual arousal plummets when we’re distracted and stressed.
5. Carve out time to spend with your partner Try a variety of activities that bring you both pleasure. Have fun courting and practice flirting as a way to ignite sexual desire and intimacy. Dr. Gottman says that “everything positive you do in your relationship is foreplay.”
6. Focus on affectionate touch Offer to give your partner a back or shoulder rub. People associate foreplay with sexual intercourse, but affectionate touch is a powerful way to demonstrate and rekindle passion even if you are not a touchy-feely person.
7. Practice being more emotionally vulnerable during sex Share your innermost wishes, fantasies, and desires with your partner. If you fear emotional intimacy, consider engaging in individual or couple’s therapy.
8. Maintain a sense of curiosity about sexual intimacy Experiment with new ways to bring pleasure to each other. Look at sex as an opportunity to get to know your partner better over time.
9. Vary the kind of sex you have Have gentle, loving-tender, intimate, and highly erotic sex. Break up the routine and try new things as sexual needs change.
10. Make sex a priority Set the mood for intimacy before TV or work dulls your passion. A light meal along with your favorite music and wine can set the stage for great sex.